Fleeing Kindness

“Or do you presume on the riches of His kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?” (Romans 2: 4)

“I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying his voice and holding fast to him, for he is your life and length of days.” (Deut. 30: 19-20)

Talk about Scripture taking on flesh and blood! Yesterday Maribel exploded again, and then she packed up her things and Fernando and clearly chose death, fleeing the kindness she could not embrace. Our comfort is in knowing that she is God’s child now. We witnessed and participated in the “prayer of salvation,” and what a beautiful moment it was! However, sanctification is a process, not by any means instantaneous, and the 25 years of rejection, betrayal, abuse and exploitation will have to be healed one decision at a time. Yesterday Maribel could not trust God or us and walked away from kindness, unconditional love, regular meals, a comfortable bed, good medical care, friendship, spiritual encouragement . . . and walked towards poverty, danger (there is a contract on her life), a possible relapse for Fernando into life-threatening illnesses (he’s had pneumonia twice already), brutal relationships, and everything else that living on the street can mean. Praise God for the “Hound of Heaven”! I am so sad today, but trusting in Jesus, the God of our Salvation. He loves Maribel and Fernando even more than we do, and I pray that she will meet Him at every turn.

In typical Maribel fashion, she screamed insults at us, threatened to have us all murdered (and our children, too), bit Mary, accused us of wanting to steal Fernando from her, etc. etc. etc. – and then asked for a ride to the bus station. I had to smile when she asked me for jalon (a ride). I gave her a lift to the bus stop, and then after she’d found some hole to live in, she came back to Casa Lamb and asked Amanda to give her another ride with all her stuff. When Amanda dropped her at the bus stop, she asked if she could pray for Fernando. Maribel gave permission, and Amanda whipped out her water bottle and baptized Fernando! Now that was a Holy Spirit moment for sure!

Most of us can’t imagine fleeing kindness. We welcome Love with open hearts. But most of us have not had to endure the suffering that Maribel has had to endure, and it has been continuous and profound. She feels more at home with hunger and fear.

Today by faith I am hoping in Christ for Maribel and Fernando. Please join me. They are part of our Kingdom family now and desperately need our prayers.

Church?

The St. Peter’s group asked me after Maribel accepted Christ with us last week, “How will you do follow-up with her?” One way, obviously, is to take her to church. Since we only hold services at the children’s home on Sunday mornings, I have been taking her elsewhere: Saturday night we went to a medium-sized church not far from Casa Lamb, and last night we went to a big church across town. Both are evangelical, and one is also Pentecostal. In a word, I would describe our experiences at both as “disappointing.”

Lots of people have taken a shot at explaining what Church should be all about. The Bible says it should be about LOVE. I say that because the Scriptures say that God is love, and since the Church is the Body of Christ, it seems reasonable to me to conclude that the Church as Love should be our highest aim.

So I wanted somebody to love Maribel. I wanted somebody to notice that we were visiting, to discern that she is a person in need of Love, and then offer her some. At the first church, I took Fernando (Maribel’s baby) to the nursery so that Maribel could concentrate on listening. In the nursery, I was asked about the baby, so I told a little of Fernando’s story. Both nursery workers were flabbergasted: “I guess we live in a bubble,” one said. “I don’t even know anybody like that.” Ugh. The comment was not followed by something like, “But I would love to meet her and pray for her.” Double ugh.

At the second church, an usher came over and told Maribel she had to take Fernando to the nursery. Maribel was offended, not understanding that it was a kind of “church rule.” She is very sensitive about anything that looks like rejection. She called the usher an imbecile and walked out with Fernando. Oops. Another lady chased after us as we returned early to our car. She wanted to explain about the Rule. She addressed the entire conversation to me, referring to Maribel as “that girl,” and then “with the bad nature.” Oh. Really? That’s why I brought her here, I said, to be ministered to. “Oh,” said the woman, smiling, as if to congratulate me. This “oh” was not followed by, “Well, why don’t we have a time of prayer right now? Can I meet your friend?” She seemed happy when I said we needed to go (Maribel was about to blow another gasket).

In short, I am still looking for Church for Maribel. A Church that is LOVE. Any recommendations?

"Dia del Mapi"

Dude Singing to His Grandma Mapi

On Thursday, Lety came home from school with an invitation for me to Father’s Day (celebrated in March here). I made the logical comment: “I’m not your father.” She said, “They are inviting single mothers because you are both mother and father,” (mami + papi = mapi). What a nice idea! AND that means I’ll be invited to Mother’s Day, too! Double celebration for double duty!

Anyway, Lety and I went to “Dia del Mapi” today at her school, and it was the most moving school program I’ve attended in all my years of attending school programs. Lety is attending a small K-12 Christian school, and we are newcomers. I literally did not know a soul there except the principal and his wife who handled registration. The program started with praise and worship and a prayer. Then the children did their presentations.

Preparatory went first, and there was a chunky, curly adorable boy in the middle who kept blowing kisses to his daddy, who cheerfully blew them back. So cute. And then a high school girl got up and sang a song to her dad. She was nervous, so she called her little sister over and they kept their arms around one another the entire song. At the end, the girl who sang went to her dad in the audience and held him tight. They were both crying. I was, too. I later found out that the dad had recently suffered a stroke. He got up and shared a testimony about how he needed a medical test afterwards. His younger daughter heard him talking about it with the mother. She made a can and said she would ask people for donations. He started crying. The little girl ran up and grabbed him, weeping. A son joined the love clump. I wasn't the only one sniffling in the crowd by now.

And then a high school boy sang a very sentimental song about fathers, and when he went into the audience to hug his dad, it wasn’t a dad: it was his grandmother! I found out later that she is raising five grandsons by herself. When that big dude leaned over to love on his little grandmom, I really did lose it. Who would have thought that “Dia del Mapi” would be worse than fifteen Little House On the Prairie episodes?! I mean, Lety even cried and hugged me, and she’s fifteen and too cool for school. She wouldn’t even sit with me when we got there, but after all this stuff started happening, she came over for a hug herself!

I think that “Dia del Mapi” should turn into a worldwide movement. It’s clearly anointed by the Holy Spirit. I can hardly wait until next year!

It Doesn't Get Any Better Than This!

Tonight Maribel, Lucy’s birthmom, accepted Christ with us in the living room of Casa Lamb. She cried a lot, told us that the Lord had been calling her, but that she had been too scared to let Him in. “But I’m not going back this time,” she said, and prayed the sinner’s prayer.

As I drove Maribel home, she said softly, “I’m so happy.” FINALLY.

So happy after being given away as a baby.
So happy after being sexually abused by her father.
So happy after running away with a man twenty years older when she was 12 years old.
So happy after being sold in exchange for drugs.
So happy after having four children before she’d turned 22.
So happy after running with a gang of thieves.
So happy after having all four children taken away from her by Social Services.
So happy after being sent to jail for robbery.

In fact, I asked Maribel a couple of weeks ago, “Can you remember a time when you were happy?” She thought for a moment and said, “The happiest time of my life was when I was I prison.” !!!

Tonight Maribel came home to Jesus. She’s so happy. And, really: It doesn’t get any better than that!

“How Do You Decide Who To Help?”

This question has been asked many times, and it is difficult to answer. Sometimes there is clear direction from the Holy Spirit, an urgent sense that a response is what God wants. Other times it isn’t so clear. Tonight I’m troubled because I received three “distress calls” today on my cell phone, with nothing resolved for any of the callers. Two calls were about children-at-risk, all boys between the ages of 5 and 8. The last call was from a woman who said she met me years ago, and who needs to “be heard by someone who loves Jesus". When she said that, I felt good that she thought of me! That’s really all I ever want to be! But returning to the original question, I’m asking the Lord to make His will clear in regards to these boys. At the children’s home we’re building a boys’ bungalow because we need to (1) move our boys further away from the girls, and (2) create more space for the girls, who are all in one cabin. Right now we have space for new children only in the nursery. So should that be my answer? That “no room in the inn” response has always been hard for me. And now the situation is different because we have Honduran leadership, and they decide which children will come into the home. I can certainly participate in the discussion, but I no longer singlehandedly take children to the children’s home. It is no longer my prerogative to say to someone on the phone, “Absolutely! I’ll pick up the child tomorrow!”
I’m posting the photo of Aaron Josue because when I accepted him from Social Services, I did so despite some loving pressure not to. He was pathetic. Everyone was in agreement that he was going to die. Should you say ‘no’ because the person “is going to die anyway”? Mother Teresa was attracted to people who fit the opposite profile; she wanted to help them die with dignity. With my U. S. upbringing, I heard those words (“When he dies . . .”) as a sort of challenge: “You’ll see!” I thought. "God is greater than your prognostication!” When all is said and done, though, life and death are in God’s hands, and my desire to prove Social Services wrong just gets mixed up in His mysterious ways.
So yes, I’m glad I took AJ home that day. I love that little guy, and I’m so thankful for his new wheelchair (Thanks, Dr. Jack!). Was it God’s will? I think so, but Paul says we can only “see through a glass darkly” right now, so maybe there is no way to be absolutely certain. Does the Lord want me to get mixed up with those three little boys? My heart longs to respond somehow, but a look at my day tomorrow makes it clear that if I do respond, it won’t be immediately. I’ve passed on the information to our leadership team for prayer and discussion. That and prayer will have to do for now.
If this all sounds muddled, well, it is. It’s a holy muddle. I believe that Jesus wants all of us to get involved in holy muddles because that’s where His light shines brightest. May He help us know when and where and how to become His hands and feet.

Is It Possible to Pray Too Hard?

Yesterday I was in a taxi headed for Hospital Escuela to visit a mother and baby. The taxi driver was extremely upbeat and friendly. He spoke English, so he was delighted to practice. He asked me where I was from, what I was doing in Honduras, etc. etc. etc. Just as we were nearing the hospital, he asked, “Are you married?”
“No,” I said. “I’ve never been married.”
“What!?!?!?!?!?!?” he cried. “ You are so pretty! Why aren’t you married?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
“But you have a boyfriend?”
“No,” I said.
“What?!?!?!?!?!?!?” he cried. “No boyfriend?!?!?!? Give me your phone number!”
I laughed. By now we were at the hospital, and cars were honking at us to get moving.
“Give me your phone number!”
“Are you a Christian?” I asked.
“No, but hurry! Give me your phone number!”
“God bless you!” I said as I exited the taxi.
As I was walking through the hospital gate, I thought, “I think somebody is praying too hard about my loneliness.” (Big smile.) Is that possible?: To pray so hard that an excitable, pagan taxi driver appears on the scene – or maybe it was just the Enemy’s idea of a funny joke. It was funny, and of course I’m especially thrilled that he noticed how pretty I am! So thanks for those earnest prayers; I needed a funny experience like that! 

March On, My Soul, With Might (Judges 5: 21b)

Rosalind Banks sent me this half verse from Judges this morning (Thanks, Rosalind!). It’s from the ‘Song of Deborah and Barak” after “God subdued Jabin the king of Canaan before the people of Israel.”
My earlier reflections this morning had been on Proverbs 9: 10: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,” which I had read on the wall at Lety’s school when I passed by to leave her something. I left there thinking that people these days don’t like to associate ‘fear’ with God, and yet the fear mentioned here is a healthy fear: it is a constant submission to the sovereignty of God. When we are submitted fully to His sovereignty, we have put on the mind of Christ (Phil. 2: 5), and then we are empowered by His Holy Spirit to walk in Truth, the purest expression of wisdom.
Walking (marching!) in Truth does strengthen our souls, which is forever threatening to grow weary and faint (Heb. 12: 3) . Our bones and muscles might ache, but we can keep marching as long as our soul and spirit remain strong, marching on in the might of our God.
And this is the testimony of the faithful: (1) that we have persevered (Rev: 3:8), (2) that we have feared God, allowing Him sovereignty in our lives (Prov. 9:10), causing us to march forward in obedience and faith (Judges 5: 21), to the end that His Name is lifted high for all to see.
We so long for healing, freedom, deliverance, holiness, joy, peace, love, wholeness. May we experience the fullness of Christ – and pass it on – as we allow God to subdue the enemies of our souls so that we can march on in His strength alone.